An Encouraging Word Would Help!

I know i haven't blogged in quite sometime. But see here is the thing we all have things we do that take us away from something that we are trying to establish as a new rule in life. For example, I am still working on losing weight, my newest set back....I have three children living with me, i am working two jobs, and making the time to eat right seems to be harder than I had thought. So I am trying to resolve this issue by making sure that i am conscious of what i am eating. I am not a perfect person....but i am trying to make a difference in my own life. I hope that you will pray for me to find the strength i need to continue to push forward. Thank you and have a blessed day!

Please Pray For My Family!

You know we all take little things for granted, like family and friends. I have a family I would like for you to hold up to God in prayer. They have lost their mom and their brother within two weeks of each other just about a month ago. Now they face a difficult trial with their sister who has been in the hospital since the day before mothers day. It doesn’t look good right now. But the power of prayer is indescribable and I hope that everyone who reads this will take a few moments and lift her up. This family is a very Christian family. But we all know when you have trials you tend to need the prayers of others to bring you back up. They have already endured so much. My heart breaks for them.

Lord,
I ask you to hold the Crudup family tight. Let them know that you are there no matter what happens. Lord we know that You can help her. If it be Your will Lord please heal her. Lord I ask that you give the family strength for whatever may come.
In Your Holy Name I pray,
Amen

If you have family you haven’t talked to in awhile or friends that you have touched base with. You might want to take the time to at least tell them how much they mean to you. You never know what is in store for you. Take every opportunity to show someone how special they are to you. It will mean the world to them. To ALL my family and friends, I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH AND MY LIFE IS BRIGHTER AND HAPPIER BECAUSE OF EACH OF YOU!

What An Awesome Feeling!

I had my 90 day measure and weigh in today. I was so excited. I couldn’t believe how I am doing. I have had a lot of stress this month, so I knew that it was possible that I didn’t lose anything. I am learning to deal with the stress. Anyways, in 90 days I have lost 28 pounds and 46.5 inches. How awesome is that? Makes me feel great and the pictures were even better. Come on guys if I can do so can you. You just have to want it bad enough. I get every morning and pray that God helps me to control the things that I can and help me to let the things that I can’t go. No need to hold on to things you can’t change. I would like for you to know that although most people, that are on the same journey I am, use the aid of pills to help lose weight, I am not using any pills. I take a multi-vitamin daily and as far as pills that is all. So it is possible to not use those pills and lose the weight. And let me just tell you how good it makes you feel. I have been so excited all day. I want to share my achievement with everyone. Anyone who has a weight issue and doesn’t believe that they can do this, I am here to tell you, YES YOU CAN!
I have my ten year class reunion coming up in about four months and my goal is to be able to walk in the door and no one recognize me. It will be awesome! I hope to inspire some of my peers to do the same thing by getting healthy and fit. This world has a lot of harsh things in it already and by us not taking care of ourselves we make it that much harder on us. This is something that you can control, so what is your decision? I would like for you to check out a short youtube video of my progress. You will see what I’m doing and hopefully it will motivate you to do it for yourself.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-j-codGkrTk
Thanks for all your support on my journey and may God put his hand on you and guide you safe.

Are You Ready For The Ride Of Your Life?

There are people that you meet in your life, that are there to serve a purpose. If we were logical people which most of us aren’t we might could see that. I have friends that have come into my life at times when I need someone most. Like when my parents split, when I got sick, when I was feeling horrible about myself. Hindsight really is 20/20, I know who they are now and why we met when we did. Have you ever met someone that you didn’t really know why but you knew no matter what it was going to be a fun ride? I have, many! I find so many different qualities about people intriguing. The way they talk, or carry themselves or even how they look longingly at others lives. Why can we not just see that we all have a separate journey that God allows our paths to cross when the time is right. Things are not all coincidence and some things should be left to fate. Now where is your path leading you? Me well mine has lots of twists and turns. But I am trying to be a good Christian woman with strong faith and moral beliefs. It is not always easy to do the right thing but I do try. I would really like to find the strength in God that I need to make some things really happen for me so that I could help others. This is an ongoing prayer request of my own. Life definitely is a wild ride if you open yourself up to the things that can happen to you. Don’t be a closed off unhappy person. If you forgot what your path looks like. Take a minute, stop and pray that God will shine his light for you to see it clear again. It works, you can go from not knowing what to do next, to know that placing it in God’s hands will open you up to receive direction from him. Please don’t confuse coincidence with chance. Coincidence is something you might stumble upon at the right time. But chance is something you have to be ready to take on what may come and learn from it. Are you ready for the time of your life?

If You Believe It, You Can Do It!

I just wanted to let everyone know what’s going on lately. I had a pretty good week, made it to the gym everyday. I feel really good coming up on my 90 day weigh and measure this week. You know it feel really good to be able to not only see the results of a lifestyle change but to feel it. I feel stronger and healthier. I love working out and I hope that my journey inspires at least one person. I know there are those of you out there thinking that there is no hope for you. That you have let yourself go too long. I am here to tell you, NO it isn’t. NEVER give up on yourself. Watch what you eat and exercise it really is that simple. You don’t need a diet you need a whole new way of thinking. First thing you have to do is get your mind right. You will not achieve much if you don’t really believe that you can. You have to see yourself happy and healthy. Then the “work” is just something you do cause you like it and it makes you feel good. Try keeping a journal of the times you eat, what you eat, and how much you eat. Write down when, how often and how long you exercise. It will be much easier to keep it up if you are always checking on yourself. Find a way to express your feelings about what you are going through. Talking it out always makes it easier. If you want to talk to someone about it, find someone that inspires you to do more for YOU. If you want to talk but don’t really think you have someone to listen I would be glad to be your pen pal. If there is ever anything you want to talk about feel free to write me. I wish you all well, talk to you soon.

I Love You To The Moon And Back!

Yesterday I got the phone call that my grandma went to heaven. I know that most of you understand what it is like to lose someone you love, so you know what I’m feeling. It’s really hard to process right now. I can remember stories she always told. And how strong of a woman, a person, she was. She was the grandma that taught me how to pick strawberries and took me to art class. The woman who told me like it was no matter what. And would sing with me with tears in her eyes. I remember as a child helping in her yard and helping to feed the animals. She has always held a special place in my heart. She always believed in me for the little things like, singing and painting. I know that as I have gotten older I haven’t spent the time I should have with her but I cherish every moment I did have. Talking in her room about things no one would expect. I loved the taste of her home German Chocolate cake and icing. I remember going nearly every weekend as a child to her house and we always grilled something. There are more memories that I could possible share. I can hear her laugh and see her smile. There will never be another like her. Grandma I just want you to know I love you to the moon and back.

To my family who are all experiencing sadness at our loss. She was a strong woman who loved all of us very much. I don’t know if you ever got to sit and talk to her about it but I did every time I seen her. She was overflowing with love for her children, grandchildren, great grandchildren. I know sometimes it didn’t feel like I knew just how much she really loved me. But talking to her when I did the last few years she told me over and over again. Everyone of us had a place in her heart that no one could touch. And she would fight tooth and nail for each of us. We haven’t always been as close as I would have liked, but I blame myself. I will never forget the things she taught me. And I hope that all of you can have peace knowing how much you were loved. I love you all.

Reach For The Stars!

You know there are a million thoughts going through my head right now and sometimes it can be a little overwhelming. I am working on staying focused on the gym and what I eat. But the more I focus the more it seems that I may be over doing it. So now I am looking for the right way to go about it. I am doing well, at 60 days I have lost 36.75 inches. That is a feat for anyone. I’m so excited. But I know I have to keep my head in the game. I visited some family this past weekend and I saw how my ability to do this is giving them new hope. I was always the one with the great personality, but looks weren’t my strong suit, if you know what I mean. I believe that I am a pretty person, on the outside as well as the inside. So my goal for myself is to make the outside match the inside and keep it there. I hope that my journey is and will help others gain the strength and courage to do the same. I know that knowing that you have a problem and finding the courage to do something about it are two very different things. I am on my journey now because I decided that I was worth the effort and no one can tell me otherwise. I control my destiny and its time I show that to myself. I have GOD in my corner. With him I will achieve the biggest goal of my life and I will love every bit of sweat and tears. You only get one chance to make your life worth something. I have told you before I got myself into this and I WILL get myself out of it. I want all my friends and family to know how much I love them and appreciate their support and encouragement. Those of you who know me well, may this journey I’m on in my life shine the light on your own path. You can achieve it, it’s right in front of you. You just have to push forward to get there. Are you ready? God brings people into your life at specific times for a reason. Whether it be to inspire you, love you, push you, challenge you or whatever the case my be. I hope that if you are reading this that I serve a purpose for you as well. My faith keeps me strong and my Lord holds my hand as I reach for the stars. I am more than blessed to know you. Remember that goals can be reality if you just reach for the stars.

Look Past the Distractions, Keep Your Goals In View!

This past week has been a real eye opener about myself and how I feel about the people and things around me. If you knew me and heard the whole story your jaw would probably hit the ground. I amaze myself some days, when I pull my strength and say what I mean and then back it with my actions in a way that gets my point across without totally making someone horribly mad at me. I feel strong in my beliefs and I don’t think that I should have to sacrifice things for people who don’t seem to care a whole lot about what really happens to me or around me. I have spent years of wasted energy on these types of people and it takes all I have some days to convince myself that it’s ok to look after myself and not just others. But the more I pray to the Lord for guidance, the answer I get back is “if you are not taking care of your self, how will others know that you can take care of them?” Good question, in my opinion. Did you know that no matter what someone tells you, it is always good to have your own opinion. People may not always listen to you but you know you have it, which means you will not spends time wishing that you had just told people how YOU really felt about something. Do you ever feel like you are hiding the REAL you? I used to. Not that I would do things that others wanted me to, but I didn’t even do the things that I enjoy. This can make you more miserable than almost anything else. You try to live this life that you think is better for you and then you wake up one day and wish you had just been yourself and worked it out. There was another path you could have taken to make the changes you wanted without losing yourself in the process. Sometimes its more scary to be yourself and not know if people will accept you. But doing this means you don’t accept yourself. Which is more important to you? The only ones you should ever worry about accepting you is, God and yourself. Everyone else is really fighting the same demons you are. I haven’t met anyone yet who has always liked themselves. You think that there is a reason for this? I do, it’s cause we are still children and children learn through mistakes. But not to worry, we have a very loving Father who is always there. A Father who loves us no matter our faults. All He ask of you is to believe in him, and have faith that he is there always. You know what I don’t get though? That people can so readily turn down unconditional love for things of this world. Who in their right mind could ever turn down that kind of love?
You know I am understanding more everyday how things that you want seem to keep having barriers between you and them. Seems like the more you strive to reach the goal the more roadblocks appear. So I ask myself exactly what is that you really want? Is it worth what you are going through or is it just something you want to say you have? Well I have noticed this week that I have had many things change in schedules and time for the things, I really want, have been pushed more to the back. Now don’t get me wrong I find time for them but they are not in line like they should be. So this week I am trying to fix that. And if you are struggling in a similar situation, then you understand what I am talking about.
I start my day with a prayer which I don’t think I will ever change. It is like having the one thing a day that determines if you have a good or bad day. For me it’s the power of prayer, no matter what is going on in my life lifting a prayer to God makes it better. I know he is listening. But it’s everything after that, that I get all jumble up. And I am working it out, but this process will wear you out. However, in this case it is very much worth it. This struggle I am having, has nothing to do with material possessions, it has to do solely on me as a person, spiritually, mentally, and physically. I will be no good to anyone, if I can’t figure out how to get these in control. Not trying to say that I’m out of control cause that really isn’t the case. But to have a handle on these to a point that everyday is a good day, doesn’t matter what else is going on. I will have strength in my values as a person. People can look at me at any given time and will see a strong, God fearing woman.
I know that on the physical side I try to keep you updated, and knowing that you read this blog to find out how things are going, helps me to stay on track. So no matter who you are or if I know you personally, I really appreciate you reading what I have to say cause it keeps me focused. And having focus points means that my head stays clearer so that I can see my goals better. And for a short update on the weight loss I have now lost 22 pounds as of today. I have done this all in about 6 weeks. I haven’t measured again yet still have a couple weeks for that but I am hoping for great results. For now you are in my prayers, and my thoughts. May the Lord help you find the strength you need to push for your goals! May God bless you and keep you safe.

Great Things Come Through Strife!

Well I know its been about a week or so since I last posted anything. So let me tell you why. Cause if you are reading this thinking that I have it together and I don’t have any trials going on in my life well you my friend would be wrong. And since I’m trying to be as open and honest on here as I can you need to know the really hard stuff too. This past week I have struggled with a couple of things. One of my best friends/roommate decided to change their state of residence. Not that it was well planned in advance or anything, just something they felt they needed to do. This however leaves me to pick up all the bills on my own. They have cut hours back at work, so knowing that I will for sure have what it takes to make the bills is still kind of up in the air. My precious dog, Baby Girl, hasn’t been home in nearly four days, to those of you who understand that she is my confidant, know that it isn’t easy to lose her. I am still looking for her and I pray that wherever she is she is safe and taken care of. So as you can imagine, my week has been up and down. Now for the good points, cause with the hard to handle there is always a light. God always offers some peace in the midst of a storm.

My weight loss is going great. To date I have now officially lost 19 pounds. After only 5 weeks, I am amazed at myself. The gym to me used to be an ugly word. But I was really missing out. When I get frustrated and things just don’t seem to be going my way…..I pray hard and then hit the gym or a walking trail. I now enjoy a three mile hike with some very good friends on Sundays. I hate to miss my gym time and sometimes I go twice. It is empowering to take control of the things I CAN change and let the Lord handle the things that I can’t. If you don’t know what that feels like, try it, I DARE YOU! So even though it appears that my life has made a drastic change, in honesty, that I wouldn’t have been able to really handle before. I have a new found power and oh man does it feel good. With every down I know I will climb higher and higher. The dreams I thought I would never reach are so close now.

I spent so much of my life thinking that I could never be more than what I am. What was I thinking, I was so unhappy and always wanted more. Not that I wanted money or an expensive anything. I just wanted to be able to look at myself in the mirror without disgust. Those of you who don’t know what I mean you are lucky and very blessed. But those of you who do. Pick yourself up. We let ourselves get this way an we can get ourselves out of it. Just depends on how bad you want it. And well me, I want it bad! I get up every morning no matter what is going on, and thank God for a new day. I pray that he gives me the strength I need to do the things he wants me to do.

I was seeking advise from a very special friend the other day, who told me something that really hit home with me. He said “ Kama, things are going to get better for you. You are taking control of your life and God is removing the obstacles that have prevented you from achieving. God is like your parents, if you are taking control and responsibility of your life your parents try to help you in anyway that they can. Just keep doing what you are doing and you will go far.” I don’t know if he realizes this but saying that to me made my whole bad week seem so worth it.

Having faith in God will let you see things and do things you never thought possible. I have WISHED most of my life to be healthy and fit. You know wishes are just wishes. Now I dream about being healthy and fit. Dreams my friend are in your hands. You control what you do to obtain them. A wish is the hope someone will do it for you. A dream means you want to go out and make it happen yourself. Love yourself enough to dream. It keeps you from crossing that line in to unhappiness. And if you have a dream what are you doing to get there? If you are sitting hoping it just falls in your lap, you might want to rethink that strategy and realize you are wishing for the wrong things. God didn’t say anywhere that he was going to spoil his children, he did however leave us a very insightful manual on how to manage when things get hard. God love’s you, and wants the best for you. But for you to receive the best, you have to want the best for yourself and know that you will have to fight for it. Most likely it’s not going to be an easy road to get there, but you know it is definitely worth the trip to get there. The best lessons in life come from strife. So what are you waiting for, life is waiting for you to wake up and live. May God bless you and keep you safe on your journey. You are always in my prayers. I’ll write again soon, be strong in your faith and the Lord will guide you through.

30 Day Results, WOW!

Okay, I have big news. God is my strength and he has given me the will power and drive to better myself. Today was my 30 day weigh in and measurements. I went in feeling pretty good knowing that I have worked hard and could see results. I thought they might reflect as much, about 12-16 inches lost, or something close to that. BUT when I got there and they did the measurements, I just about fell out in the floor. In 30 days I have lost……9 pounds and 33.75 inches. I could not be happier. The first thing I did was thank God for giving me the strength to do it. So my day is brighter and I feel empowered. I hope that you can find something that you really want, work hard for it and see great results.

I am ready for the next 30 days and I am determined to have great results again. I am at a loss for words, I don’t even know where to begin to explain the joy I feel right now. So if you were down today I hope that my achievements will allow you to have some joy in your life or at least give you the desire to strive for what you really want. Remember the Lord is on your side and with him All things are possible. I truly believe that. I hope that putting my experiences on here will show people that no matter the obstacle you face, whether it’s weight, medical, physical, emotional or spiritual, that there is a high power, GOD, and he will hold your hand and help you through it.

May God bless you and keep you safe. Have an awesome day.

For My True Friends, You Are A Blessing To Me Everyday!

You know I have been very blessed in my life. I have a family that loves me, no matter what trials we have been through. I have friends who would do anything for me and I for them. And my life although it is not perfect has some perfection in it. It is perfectly imperfect and I don’t know that I would have it any other way. How many people can you call a true friend? If you really think about, probably not too many people. There may be quite a few that you would do things for just because you wanted to help them out, asking nothing in return. But how many would do that for you? Those are the ones you want to hang on to. The people in your life that mean more to you than you could ever explain. If they hurt or go through a bad time, you are right there with them. You wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.

Now there are times when you are fooled by a persons intentions as a friend. They seem like they care more than words. But then it turns out they were friends with you to get something or talk to someone. Those people be careful of. My closest friends know the Lord and I think that fact makes us even closer. Just knowing that you will forever be someone’s friend. I thank God ever day for the friends he has placed in my life. They came into my life at time’s when one of us was struggling, and have continually blossomed since. These friends are my family. I pray for the best for them. They will always have a place in my heart. I have a friend that is more like family than just a friend. This person gives me strength everyday to stay on my path to being fit and healthy. I don’t even know if they realize how much them caring how I’m doing, pushes me to do better. So much so that today I tackled a 3 mile hike. Four weeks ago I wouldn’t have even tried it. But I did and I finished it. It feels great. And when I get to talk to this person later they will be excited for me. Just as though it was their own feat. They are my true friend. I treasure them dearly.

I have had a wonderful day. I started off with meeting at the Lord’s house, visited with my mom for lunch, hiked 3 miles and am on my way to work now. God is good, all the time. Remember to be thankful for even the little things. Never take for granted the little things in life and always cherish your true friends. I love you guys, you are in my prayers. Thanks for dropping in and I will write again soon.

What Do You See?

I am looking for inspiration today. You know things, and people for that matter, come and go in my life sometimes. It’s really weird I guess. I talk to people everyday that have no idea who I am or where I come from. And to sit back think about it, I wonder what they really think about me. Do they see a strong Christian woman, or a frumpy old grouch. I would hate to give off the wrong impression to someone who knows nothing about me. So even on a bad day I try my hardest to put out the right vibe. I pray that when people look at me they can see a child of God. And if this is not what they see then I have a lot of work to do. How am I to show someone the love of Christ if I do not take my walk with Him seriously? Now being human, this is not always the easiest task. But I am learning that the more I ask for his guidance the more God shines a light for me in the right direction. Why haven’t I always known that this is the way it works? Why have I tried so hard to fix things on my own? Who did I think I was?

Although it has taken me this long to figure this out, I hope that my journey may help someone find their way. It has not always been an easy road but that usually means one of two things, either, I was on the right path at the time or I was messing up the path I had created. You learn by doing, and as far as making mistakes I have made quite a few. Thank goodness that God forgives even the lowliest of sinners.

I am not good at quoting scripture but I love to sing God’s praise. I believe that music is a strong force that reaches peoples hearts and souls. Music to me is love. And since God is love, I lift my voice to him. I have been told that I have many talents, singing is said to be one, so why shouldn’t I use the talent that God gave me to praise Him? Have you ever heard a child sing? What is the first thing you think as you listen? I am so blessed to hear a child sing for they are truly precious in His sight. Children have many wonderful talents and as adults we should nurture them. We should help them understand their talents and how to use them for God’s glory.

Do you have a talent? What are you doing with it? I hope that what ever your talent may be that you are using it for God’s glory. And if you think that your talent would not best serve God, then I think you should reconsider if it is really a talent. I will be praying for you and that you discover your talent(s) and use them for God’s glory. If you do you will be greatly blessed. Take care until next time and please, keep me in your prayers.

The Way I Used To Be

It has been about three weeks since I first started working out and eating right. I cannot believe how easy and fun this really is. At first I thought I would never make it. The exercises were hard and they hurt. But then after about a week or so they became easier. It’s funny how life tends to be the same way, only difference is instead of pushing through the pain we just give up. When we give in like that we could have only been a minute, an hour, a day or a week from huge blessings. No instead we tuck our tail and run the opposite direction. Haven’t you ever heard the saying “Anything worth having is worth the work”? I think I understand that better now. I see things so differently and it has only begun.

I used to look at myself in the mirror with disgust. All I could see were belly rolls, tree trunk legs, big fatty arms, more junk in the trunk than any one person should ever have and a double chin (at one point triple). I have always seen myself unhappy and alone. It’s really easy to get caught up in the whole “who could love a fat girl?” syndrome, as I like to refer to it. But what I didn’t realize for many years is that the outside to everyone else in the world really is only a shell. And the fruit that they are looking for you have always had, the true you, way deep down inside yourself. How many times I cried cause I felt trapped in this ugly outside, with no way out. I felt looked over or sometimes worse nonexistent. No one should ever allow themselves to feel this way. I am a Christian woman and I know that God has a plan for me, although I have not quite figured out what it is yet. I believe very strongly in the power of prayer. But for years I would pray and when God would send me his answer I just walked away or ignored it. I became reliant on me….and well that has never gotten me anywhere good. I just didn’t see what God could possibly want with me. I was a disappointment to him or so I thought.

Then one day I looked at myself and realized he had been talking to me the whole time. He has opened up doors for me to get there. Now I have to walk through them, which I thought was scary at first. Now I notice small things. I have more energy and I am taking on the challenge for many reasons. I have some medical problems but honestly its nothing that getting healthy can’t fix. So now instead of praying that God would make my life easier to deal with, I pray he gives me the strength to fix this horrendous mess of myself that I have created.

After three weeks of working out and eating right I have lost 9 pounds and 5 inches on my hips. For those of you who have a weight problem, you can see how this is exciting to me. It has been so long since I could look at myself in the mirror and smile. I am more receptive to someone telling me that I look pretty, cause now I do. I know I have a long way to go but I know that God is in my corner and in my heart. My intentions are not vein and this is a way for me to connect with others who are dealing with the same things. I hope you understand that this is a way for me to share how I feel. This in no way is a well thought out writing of any kind. I just want to be real with you. So please pray for me on my journey into my new life. As I will be praying for you too. I’ll see you again soon. God Bless You.

A Place To Start

On January 22, of 2009 I decided that I was tired of being obese. I have been obese for years and the worst thing about being this big is that you have NO self esteem. I have always wanted to be smaller and healthy but I never stuck with kind of routine or schedule very well. I have decided that since I am not married nor do I have children, yet, it is time to do something about it. It's time to start living right. So when I do have that part of my life start it is a normal everyday thing already. That way my children will never have to experience what this is like. Life is not kind to those who are not at minimum average. So when you become overly obese life can get you down. About two years or so ago I decided to buy the Slim in 6 program and I started to change how often I ate and that worked pretty good for awhile. When I first decided enough was enough I weighed in at 443 lbs. For someone who should weigh 135- 140 lbs., that is way more than extreme. So then till Jan. 22, 2009 somehow I have managed to get down to 328 lbs.

For the first time in years, I feel that I WILL do this. I am doing this for me and my health and my future. All of you out there who desire to know someone who understands what its like I’m right here. I have been the one made fun of because of my size. Left out of activities because no one was brave enough to ask if I would even be able to participate. Well I am tired of being that person. I am going to be healthy and I want to be someone who can help others achieve the same goal. I am only human and so sometimes this task seems too big for me to tackle, but everyone has something in their life that they feel that way about. The thing is to realize that you can do anything that you set your heart and mind to.

A New Look At Life

You know there are always times that you feel like the world is crushing you little by little.  But if you stop to think about it, everyone feels that way, so why is it that you feel it only happens to you.  Like everything is only happening to you. This is the first stage of a pity party. You say stupid things about why you are where you are, like, "if i hadn't done....", "if only they would have done what they said" or even "why can't anything ever work out for me?"  You hardly ever have the gut reaction to step back and breathe for a moment and really look at the situation you may be in.  If you did, the first feeling you would have is not one of self pity but of strength to bounce back from whatever is going on.  You know people should really pull their strength from a higher power. I pull my strength from God. Without Him I am nothing.  Now my life is not always what I want it to be, but I have realized that God didn't put me in this situation, I did.  What I do know, is that even though where I'm at, is the direct results of my own mistakes, God will help me to get myself through it. 

What situation that you have ever been in that didn't turn out right is a direct result from God?  Think hard before you try to answer.  The way I see it God takes the blame way too often when things go wrong.  Even though you know God is perfect, you never blame the one who is imperfect and incomplete without Him, YOURSELF.  When you realize that you need God in your life, you start to see things differently.  You begin to pray for things you used to think were too small for God to answer.  But now you understand and believe that no matter how small your prayers seem, they are all important to God.  You begin to see that God is not only present in the good times but in the bad times as well.  Then you notice that God is present even when you feel the loneliest.  You are not alone, you are never alone. 

Now I know that somewhere someone will read this and think that I have lost my mind.  But think of the alternative.  I have faith in God and his everlasting love.  Where do you put your faith?  I hope that reading this will spark an interest in you to learn more about God.  I will pray that it sparked enough interest to get you to check back every now and then to see what else I might want to share.  And well #1 on my list of sharing is GOD.  Hope to see you soon.