Look Past the Distractions, Keep Your Goals In View!

This past week has been a real eye opener about myself and how I feel about the people and things around me. If you knew me and heard the whole story your jaw would probably hit the ground. I amaze myself some days, when I pull my strength and say what I mean and then back it with my actions in a way that gets my point across without totally making someone horribly mad at me. I feel strong in my beliefs and I don’t think that I should have to sacrifice things for people who don’t seem to care a whole lot about what really happens to me or around me. I have spent years of wasted energy on these types of people and it takes all I have some days to convince myself that it’s ok to look after myself and not just others. But the more I pray to the Lord for guidance, the answer I get back is “if you are not taking care of your self, how will others know that you can take care of them?” Good question, in my opinion. Did you know that no matter what someone tells you, it is always good to have your own opinion. People may not always listen to you but you know you have it, which means you will not spends time wishing that you had just told people how YOU really felt about something. Do you ever feel like you are hiding the REAL you? I used to. Not that I would do things that others wanted me to, but I didn’t even do the things that I enjoy. This can make you more miserable than almost anything else. You try to live this life that you think is better for you and then you wake up one day and wish you had just been yourself and worked it out. There was another path you could have taken to make the changes you wanted without losing yourself in the process. Sometimes its more scary to be yourself and not know if people will accept you. But doing this means you don’t accept yourself. Which is more important to you? The only ones you should ever worry about accepting you is, God and yourself. Everyone else is really fighting the same demons you are. I haven’t met anyone yet who has always liked themselves. You think that there is a reason for this? I do, it’s cause we are still children and children learn through mistakes. But not to worry, we have a very loving Father who is always there. A Father who loves us no matter our faults. All He ask of you is to believe in him, and have faith that he is there always. You know what I don’t get though? That people can so readily turn down unconditional love for things of this world. Who in their right mind could ever turn down that kind of love?
You know I am understanding more everyday how things that you want seem to keep having barriers between you and them. Seems like the more you strive to reach the goal the more roadblocks appear. So I ask myself exactly what is that you really want? Is it worth what you are going through or is it just something you want to say you have? Well I have noticed this week that I have had many things change in schedules and time for the things, I really want, have been pushed more to the back. Now don’t get me wrong I find time for them but they are not in line like they should be. So this week I am trying to fix that. And if you are struggling in a similar situation, then you understand what I am talking about.
I start my day with a prayer which I don’t think I will ever change. It is like having the one thing a day that determines if you have a good or bad day. For me it’s the power of prayer, no matter what is going on in my life lifting a prayer to God makes it better. I know he is listening. But it’s everything after that, that I get all jumble up. And I am working it out, but this process will wear you out. However, in this case it is very much worth it. This struggle I am having, has nothing to do with material possessions, it has to do solely on me as a person, spiritually, mentally, and physically. I will be no good to anyone, if I can’t figure out how to get these in control. Not trying to say that I’m out of control cause that really isn’t the case. But to have a handle on these to a point that everyday is a good day, doesn’t matter what else is going on. I will have strength in my values as a person. People can look at me at any given time and will see a strong, God fearing woman.
I know that on the physical side I try to keep you updated, and knowing that you read this blog to find out how things are going, helps me to stay on track. So no matter who you are or if I know you personally, I really appreciate you reading what I have to say cause it keeps me focused. And having focus points means that my head stays clearer so that I can see my goals better. And for a short update on the weight loss I have now lost 22 pounds as of today. I have done this all in about 6 weeks. I haven’t measured again yet still have a couple weeks for that but I am hoping for great results. For now you are in my prayers, and my thoughts. May the Lord help you find the strength you need to push for your goals! May God bless you and keep you safe.

Great Things Come Through Strife!

Well I know its been about a week or so since I last posted anything. So let me tell you why. Cause if you are reading this thinking that I have it together and I don’t have any trials going on in my life well you my friend would be wrong. And since I’m trying to be as open and honest on here as I can you need to know the really hard stuff too. This past week I have struggled with a couple of things. One of my best friends/roommate decided to change their state of residence. Not that it was well planned in advance or anything, just something they felt they needed to do. This however leaves me to pick up all the bills on my own. They have cut hours back at work, so knowing that I will for sure have what it takes to make the bills is still kind of up in the air. My precious dog, Baby Girl, hasn’t been home in nearly four days, to those of you who understand that she is my confidant, know that it isn’t easy to lose her. I am still looking for her and I pray that wherever she is she is safe and taken care of. So as you can imagine, my week has been up and down. Now for the good points, cause with the hard to handle there is always a light. God always offers some peace in the midst of a storm.

My weight loss is going great. To date I have now officially lost 19 pounds. After only 5 weeks, I am amazed at myself. The gym to me used to be an ugly word. But I was really missing out. When I get frustrated and things just don’t seem to be going my way…..I pray hard and then hit the gym or a walking trail. I now enjoy a three mile hike with some very good friends on Sundays. I hate to miss my gym time and sometimes I go twice. It is empowering to take control of the things I CAN change and let the Lord handle the things that I can’t. If you don’t know what that feels like, try it, I DARE YOU! So even though it appears that my life has made a drastic change, in honesty, that I wouldn’t have been able to really handle before. I have a new found power and oh man does it feel good. With every down I know I will climb higher and higher. The dreams I thought I would never reach are so close now.

I spent so much of my life thinking that I could never be more than what I am. What was I thinking, I was so unhappy and always wanted more. Not that I wanted money or an expensive anything. I just wanted to be able to look at myself in the mirror without disgust. Those of you who don’t know what I mean you are lucky and very blessed. But those of you who do. Pick yourself up. We let ourselves get this way an we can get ourselves out of it. Just depends on how bad you want it. And well me, I want it bad! I get up every morning no matter what is going on, and thank God for a new day. I pray that he gives me the strength I need to do the things he wants me to do.

I was seeking advise from a very special friend the other day, who told me something that really hit home with me. He said “ Kama, things are going to get better for you. You are taking control of your life and God is removing the obstacles that have prevented you from achieving. God is like your parents, if you are taking control and responsibility of your life your parents try to help you in anyway that they can. Just keep doing what you are doing and you will go far.” I don’t know if he realizes this but saying that to me made my whole bad week seem so worth it.

Having faith in God will let you see things and do things you never thought possible. I have WISHED most of my life to be healthy and fit. You know wishes are just wishes. Now I dream about being healthy and fit. Dreams my friend are in your hands. You control what you do to obtain them. A wish is the hope someone will do it for you. A dream means you want to go out and make it happen yourself. Love yourself enough to dream. It keeps you from crossing that line in to unhappiness. And if you have a dream what are you doing to get there? If you are sitting hoping it just falls in your lap, you might want to rethink that strategy and realize you are wishing for the wrong things. God didn’t say anywhere that he was going to spoil his children, he did however leave us a very insightful manual on how to manage when things get hard. God love’s you, and wants the best for you. But for you to receive the best, you have to want the best for yourself and know that you will have to fight for it. Most likely it’s not going to be an easy road to get there, but you know it is definitely worth the trip to get there. The best lessons in life come from strife. So what are you waiting for, life is waiting for you to wake up and live. May God bless you and keep you safe on your journey. You are always in my prayers. I’ll write again soon, be strong in your faith and the Lord will guide you through.